Friday 7 June 2019

"Kaya" By Swati Das

We start the great journey of life in a state of oblivion, on the nurse's arms, helpless and confused. Slowly, we learn how to stir the cauldron of all the diverse elements, often contradicting with each other revolting almost with ladles and spoons! However, their contradiction also creates a kaleidoscopic experience of existence.
I was watching a movie the other day, named, 'Nina's Heavenly Delights'. The protagonist, Nina, says that the most important thing in cooking is to get the chemistry right among all the different ingredients. Technically, a cook can make a dish perfect, but it needs something more to make one feel the 'heavenly delights' and that ‘something’ is the chemistry, or to elaborate just a little, the chemistry one feels with one’s own heart and soul. “Close your eyes and taste it to your heart!” No matter what the recipe says always “follow your heart.” Heart usually gives us the answer we seek outside. After all, faith comes from within!
While watching the movie I had this feeling that our life has an affinity with the story. Many different things happen in our life, where we go through a myriad of emotions and feelings – we laugh, are cracked, feel jilted and are happily together; sometimes the sun shines too hot, but clouds are always there to give us the rejuvenating showers; all variegated aspects, so diverse in nature, together make the wonderful dish called life served in the plate of the years and cooked with the ladle of moments. But do we taste it to our heart?
We are always looking for the perfect life, filled with knowledge and experience we gather from books and other resources. But how many of us actually comprehend that knowledge? How many of us actually value what we gather from experience? Do we, in fact, feel the need to feel? Do we know what we want to feel? Do we know what we want?
The chemistry Nina is talking about is what we need in the world where formulas keep us chained. We need something in life, if not everything, that we do with our hearts, regardless of whether it is perfect, technically sound, profitable or progressive. Nothing is perfect; life is as imperfect as it can be. Then why seek perfection in everything? It’s better to leave a few things as they are because the more one tries to make them perfect, the more they lose their essence. Essence gives us delight; we can’t feel an object or any human being, even knowledge, unless and until the essence reaches our heart and touches our soul. Our life is in itself an essence, the essence of the great Being, who does not have a perfect definition or form at all!
We roam about; wander around without often knowing what we want or what we are looking for. Most of the times, we have zero knowledge of what we want, apparently to keep ourselves safe from feeling. Our beaten-up lives teach us the hard way that feelings cause pain. Hence, we assume an impassive, apathetic attitude towards life, and everyone around and the world. But as human beings, we want another human touch, feeling, sympathy, empathy. Yet as guarded individuals, we are too scared to let such human qualities creep in. When we find someone with an open heart, we tend to build walls around us or just shut the person out! We don’t want to feel and we don’t want anyone to feel. What if we embrace it all, the pain, the suffering, the fear, the confusion, the doubts, the anxiety, all our vulnerability, as a part of us and our lives? I think we all eventually find answers deep down in our human consciousness – the answer to who we are, why we are here and what we want.
Life is not always about seeking for something, or anything. Life, sometimes, is about waiting like a stone; it’s okay not to feel sometimes, gathering up moss is not so bad always. After all, it gives the stone  some time for reflection, self introspection. And as spring water comes in with its freshness, the moss gets rejuvenated and beautiful, making the stone look just perfect in its imperfect patches. It’s all about embracing who we are and accepting the fact that life as we live it is not perfect. Its unique beauty is in all the imperfect curves and edges. The only thing that can get us closer to realizing its heavenly delights is, tasting it with closed eyes!



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